Sunday, June 19, 2005
it has been quite a while since i blogged.it wasn't that nothing was happening in my life,though i still claim that it is the mundane and usual life that i had always led.Actually,quite abit of things have been happening,so much so that i have no idea how i should go about classifying issues from being trivial,insignificant or worthy to mention.Well,i had realised quite abit about life.
I went back to malaysia last week to visit my grandma.A few days before that,i had already received the news from my relatives back in m'sia about how my grandma had been doing,obviously,she wasn't feeling quite right.In fact,she was in a rather terrible state.Hence,i was rather enthusiastic about going back to muar, for the first time.
What greeted me was not a pleasant sight.My grandma was lying almost lifelessly in bed in a small and dark room.That room reminded me of the red room in "King of the Castle",dead and lifeless.The air was still.
Everyone was waiting for her to die.Isn't it?
Out of 10 childrens that she has,who actually paid any attention to her illness?Except for my daddy who drives all the way from Singapore to visit her,who actually really cared for her?She received no proper medical treatment,no proper diet and no love from the family there at all.My aunt actually fed her with coffee.who in the right mind would give a patient coffee to drink?It all sounds ridiculous to me.The internal conflict in my paternal family is ironically the issue that holds us together.
Filial piety doesn't exist anymore.I despise my relatives for their ruthlessness.Wicked people.
To me,relationship had became such a fragile thing.The fact that time can actually erase all memories scares me.Now,it all becomes clear.You are nothing but a person driven by a sudden outburst of enthusiam.Once it fades,you think you have played hard enough,everything just falls into pieces.I wanted to be your friend,your best buddy and i thought you wanted this too.However,i guessed,now, things would never be the same again.(p.s:im not talking about my bf or wad not)
They were waiting for her to die.
I am waiting for....a true friend.
11:12 PM
be the limelight.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
holidays are here!but im totally not exhilarated by this fact at all!IT WAS NEVER A FACT!according to dictionary.com,holiday is defined as:
A day free from work that one may spend at leisure, especially a day on which custom or the law dictates a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event.YES!so theoratically speaking,im now enjoying my "holiday",but frankly speaking,its just another month of endless work.poor me.i mean us.
boo.
8:58 PM
be the limelight.
